Shinjitsu
by Hakugei
Summary: Yukimura wonders if he should reveal his feelings to the one he loves the most or allow his dreams to fly away. Songfic to 'Shinjitsu'. Mostly Yukimuracentric, SanaYuki first fic, be nice


**I checked recently and for some reason there weren't too many songfics so here's another one to add to the list! This is a songfic to the translated version of Yukimura's 'Shinjitsu'. I just got the idea after listening to Best of Rival music. It wasn't until I listened to 'Shinjitsu' (Yukimura) and 'Meisei' (Sanada) did I figure out the whole plotline (I can't help but listen to those two songs. They're both such pretty songs!). Oh, and 'Shinjitsu' means 'truth'. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: DON'T. OWN. ANYTHING. EXCEPT. PLOTLINE.**

**PAIRING: SanaYuki (first time at trying writing a fic with this pairing so go easy on me)**

**WARNING: OOC-ness, mostly Yukimura-centric**

**Shinjitsu**

_Whenever I stand alone,_

_I gaze at the depressing afternoon sun so far away_

Yukimura Seiichi liked sunny days. The sun would radiate that would melt the cold off anyone and would make anyone feel relaxed after a hard day's work. When he was still in the hospital recovering from his operation he would often stare at the warm sun and sometimes would go to the rooftop and sits on one of the benches and allowed those warm rays to gain full access to his face.

That was four weeks ago. Now he was back in school well and back to continue his school activities. Everyone was happy that the buchou was back especially the regulars on the tennis team. Yukimura was happy to see them too except for one thing that was bugging him.

He was in the operating room when Rikkaidai had their matches against Seigaku. He found out from Sanada and Yanagi that Rikkaidai won the doubles matches, but lost the singles. He didn't mind too much as to the fact that his team lost. What was bugging him was Sanada.

The fukubuchou seemed to have taking a certain interest in the first year that beat him. At first Yukimura only thought it was only friendly terms, but it wasn't until he noticed that Sanada began to see him less in the hospital and when Sanada told them that he was going somewhere with Seigaku's wonder boy did he realize that he really had a relationship with him. He never wanted to, but he couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy whenever he saw the first year from Seigaku with the vice-captain.

Often times he would get lonely and would go to the park and stare at the sun that seemed so far away from himself and the rest of the world.

_Beyond this existence are my brilliant memories _

_Which keep shining on for eternity_

Whenever Yukimura stared at the afternoon sun he would think about those happy memories with Sanada. He remembered when he first met the vice-captain.

They met by fate when they both went to a nearby tennis court. Sanada looked like a cold boy when Yukimura first saw him. Sanada saw the boy and had a match with the smaller boy. It was an amazing match. Both boys were streaking around their side of the court not wanting to give in.

The match remained incomplete because Yukimura had to go home.

Time passed by like birds flying to south to flee from the cold winter that would soon befall the city. Yukimura by then had trained hard to improve his stamina and speed. He became a good tennis player. He transferred to Rikkai and immediately joined the tennis team. Sanada had also joined the tennis team. They both became regulars in their second year and later on the two captains of the tennis team.

Those memories, to Yukimura, would shine on forever; even if it did mean never telling Sanada how he truly felt.

_Now these warm feelings that remain make the pulse of passion beat faster _

_And teach my true heart about the echoes of mistakes _

_These strong feelings, never perplexed, reach out to the surrounding sky _

_To set free and outdistance this time is what the true heart is_

Ever since the two met for the first time Yukimura could sense a special connection between him and the boy he fell in love with. Despite his macho exterior he could sense a warm fire beneath the glacier and he was waiting for the day when he could reach out and feel the warm ember burn away all his worries.

Yukimura's love for the vice-captain was strong and would stretch out past the sky if it could. He always wanted to release those feelings and show them to the one he loves the most.

_Gently, I open the palm of my hand _

_And my dreams spill out soundlessly_

He sat under a Sakura tree watching the sunset from his view underneath the blossoms of pink. He watched as the sky turned with a swirl of multi-colors of dark blue, yellow, magenta, and orange. It was breath taking. Around him petals swirled around him slowly drifting to the ground like a delicate blanket of pink. If he could control time he would have made the world like this and would let the peaceful time flow on forever.

Slowly he raised his hand from where it was a second ago. The cupped hand reached out and a gentle petal fell into the creases of the skin. Bringing it back Yukimura stared at the delicate piece of nature in front of him. It was beautiful and light as a feather. Unlike the other petals, which all had at least a small tinge of brown next to the pink this one was perfectly shaped and showed no signs of brown at all.

Gently he closed the palm of his hand and hugged it near his chest. Then he raised his arm again and slowly peeled back his fingers. A gentle breeze took hold of the perfect petal and soundlessly glided away; like his dreams.

_The sweat that conceals my tears also sways my heart _

_Together, we can get through this_

It wasn't long after Yukimura free that petal and his dream did it start to rain. Quickly grabbing his tennis bag he started running looking for shelter tripping over the slippery concrete and rocks. Then he saw them. It was the boy of his dreams and the future pillar of Seigaku. They were both close together on the bridge; too close to simply be talking.

Not wanting to see anymore of this he turned around to block out the two boys and came face to face with a mirror. There he saw something he didn't expect. There was rain on his face, but among that was water coming from his amethyst eyes. No, it couldn't be! He had been told at a young age that big boys didn't cry, and yet here was, crying. Quickly so that no one would see his tears he turned and fled rain mixing with tears.

_Right now as my remaining feelings draw near, I look for the meaning of strength _

_Wishing for you to be here is true courage _

_Next to me are my warm feelings and shining strength of passion _

_Teaching me each detail is what the true heart is_

"Tadaima!" called the puffy-eyed boy trying to sound as normal as possible. He hurriedly went to his room so as not to reveal his parents his puffy amethyst eyes. He dumped his tennis bag on the floor and flopped on the bed. His eyes were glistening with tears that wouldn't stop flowing.

What he wanted the most right now was courage. He never got a chance to reveal his true feelings to Sanada before he was snatched away by another boy. Whenever he was around the vice-captain at the hospital even if he was weak to the point when he would pass out he would feel warm and stronger spiritually than his body was. Without him he was but an empty void with no life at all.

_Now these warm feelings that remain make the pulse of passion beat faster _

_And teach my true heart about the echoes of mistakes _

_These strong feelings, never perplexed, reach out to the surrounding sky _

_To set free and outdistance this time is what the true heart is_

It was Friday and the weekend was approaching. Everyone was relieved for it would mean a time to relax before having to go back to school and face homework and strict teachers all over again. The tennis team was training vigorously and often returns to their residence exhausted.

Instead of being with the team training for the next tournament Yukimura walked away from the tennis courts, away from Rikkai, and slowly made his way back home. He wasn't in the mood for tennis or anything else. His life was getting more and more depressing and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Tadaima," he whispered. No one was home since both his parents were out at dinner. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He noticed that he was starting to develop bags underneath his eyes and he looked slightly paler. Come to think of it he hadn't had any breakfast this morning and skipped lunch too.

Yukimura turned on the faucet and began splashing his face with cold water. The clear liquid quickly covered the pale face with itself, but the face was still pale. He dried his face with a towel and was exiting the bathroom when his arm accidentally bumped into a shelf. A razor slipped from where it was a second ago and slashed open the tender flesh. Yukimura winced as blood drew out from the wound. Strange, it felt good.

Picking up the razor his slashed his wrist again. Then he slashed the flesh open again and again. Realizing what he was doing he quickly washed the razor and the bathroom floor. He washed his wrist and wrapped it up. He left the bathroom and locked the door to the house. He needed some fresh air badly.

The wind breezed against his pale face as he took one step at a time on the hard concrete. He felt it hard to concentrate or to even look forward. It seems that depression was taking its toll on him. He felt that he would faint and let his body connect with the hard concrete. If only Sanada was here to fill the empty void that was slowly starting to grow within him.

"Yukimura." The amethyst-eyed boy turned to see the vice-captain of Rikkaidai staring face to face at him like the mirror he past two days ago. "Dajoubu ka?" Yukimura felt like the floodgates were going to open again.

"Hai, dajoubu," he replied trying to sound that he truly was fine. The truth was he wasn't and he didn't know if he ever would. Even though he didn't want it to he could slowly feel that empty void in his heart fill up.

"You look tired," said Sanada. He pressed his hand to his forehead. Too warm; the exact trait for a sick person, thought Sanada. "You should get some rest."

"Iie, I'm fine, really," replied the amethyst-eyed boy. His vision was getting blurry, but he had made up his mind. He was going to tell the vice-captain his feelings even if he already had a boyfriend.

"Ano, Genichirou," whispered Yukimura. "I-I've always wanted to tell you this, demo, seeing as you already have a date-"

"Date?" exclaimed the vice-captain making the captain wince. "What are you talking about Yukimura?"

"You said at the hospital that you were going somewhere with Seigaku no Echizen," said Yukimura. Sanada looked at the smaller boy like he was nuts. Then he grinned.

"You must have misunderstood me Yukimura," said Sanada. "I was only going with Echizen to the street tennis courts so that we could have a rematch." Amethyst eyes widened at hearing this. He couldn't believe that he was getting depressed all for nothing.

"So what were you going to say?" asked Sanada kneeling down next to the smaller boy. Yukimura was getting nervous. He could have confessed anytime he wanted to, but he assumed that his crush was already taken and wouldn't.

"I-I…I…Genichirou, I've had feelings for you for a long time ever since we met," whispered the smaller boy. "I was hoping that, well, you had the same feelings for me." There he said it; Yukimura felt a great weight lifted off his shoulders. He didn't have a reaction from the vice-captain at first, but then he felt warm lips on his. When they pulled apart Sanada was smiling.

"I love you too…Seiichi," replied Sanada. Amethyst orbs widened and then sparkled with happiness. A dream had come true and two souls were united for all eternity.

_Right now as my remaining feelings draw near, I look for the meaning of strength _

_Wishing for you to be here is true courage _

_Next to me are my warm feelings and shining strength of passion _

_Teaching me each detail is what the true heart is_ **OWARI**

**How was it for a first time? Good? Bad? Read and review please and try to keep any flames to oneself.**


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